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2020-

2020-03-16 a
Caught With His Pants Down - figuratively

At the Meeting of Banker’s Anonymous, early this morning, in the basement of the Eccles Building in Washington, DC

“Hi, my name is Jerome Hayden Powell, but everyone calls me Jay. Though Elissa, my wife, calls me Hay – that’s Hay with an ‘a’ not an ‘e,’ I ... I’m ... I’m addicted. I’m addicted to easy money. Not that I want to make excuses, but I guess I fell in with the wrong crowd. Oh … I should tell you I’m also a lawyer. But at least I’m not a trial lawyer. I have worked in financing, merchant banking, and mergers and acquisitions. I also dabbled in “opportunistic investments” in the industrial sector. That means I was a vampire capitalist. I bought, I plundered, then I sold off what remained – if it wasn’t already in Chapter 7. You’re probably wondering how I can live with myself? I can’t. That’s why I’m addicted. My addiction started slow – at first I directed the New York Fed to issue 10 to 50 million in overnight easy money. But soon, that wasn’t enough. Then we upped it to 100 million in overnight funding. I have to admit that gave me such a rush. You know what I mean? It’s so awesome to press a button and just create so much magic money out of thin air. Me and the New York Fed guys were mainlining so much magic money it made us giddy. We were drunk with monetary power. But you know what? It was never as good as snorting The White Stuff. No siree. Coke is the real thing. Never forget it. But then last week we promised to create one point five trillion dollars of magic money, but that wasn’t enough. Can you believe that? A frickin’ TRILLION bucks and we got no satisfaction. Then last night we shot the wad. We used up all our monetary ammo and the market futures are in free fall. At least Trump hasn’t dumped me yet – but I think he’s gonna give me the pink slip real soon. I … I really screwed up. We announced all those emergency measures but totally forgot to create a commercial paper facility. Man, we screwed up royally. US corporations are up to their eyeballs in debt, but we just forgot all about them. Do ya think that’s why the market futures are plunging? Man, I hope Trump doesn’t dump me. Mainlining magic money is the best rush. It’s even better than sex.”

https://www.federalreserve.gov/newsevents/pressreleases/monetary20200315a.htm

https://www.federalreserve.gov/newsevents/pressreleases/monetary20200315c.htm

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